Posted by: randommisfires | November 4, 2008

A Public Apology

Sometimes as I type this blog, I forget how many “locals” read it.  Typically, it has been a blog for people far from here, most of whom know none of my friends and associates.

Unwittingly, in my anger over the politics, and the way prop 8 has been handled, I made several comments that pointed specifically to an easily recognizable member of my church.  In writing the things I did, which have been edited from the post now, I complained about several specific things.  I wish to apologize to him. He is a good person who makes a serious sacrifice to be available to our youth.

Although I pointed out some of the things that were specifically said, I forgot to remember my congregation and their feelings, displaying exactly the lack of compassion that was shown to my kids.  And if that doesn’t make a person feel like an idiot, nothing really will.

I am very very sorry for causing you pain and for publishing hurtful things where many other people you know and love would see them. It was unacceptable.

I would like to clarify that the specific events which led to the conflict or the people who perpetuated them are not the salient points.  The salient point that I did not make well was this:

(taken from an excerpt of the private apology I sent to the person I hurt)

I think the church has, for years, taken an extremely homophobic view of the world and that those prejudices have far reaching long term negative consequences.  The pressures placed on individual members facing any sin are great.  But in this case, it pains me to know that there is most likely a child sitting in seminary or YM or YW who is indeed having difficulty with same sex attraction and the only message they are hearing from our church is underlying disgust, hate, intolerance and fear. Mormon kids who have heterosexual sex or do drugs or drink or lie or steal or dishonor their parents do not face the same negative emotions as the emotion directed at those who question their sexuality.  And back-biting and gossiping is very nearly sanctioned.  But all of these are sins.  Why then is one particular issue met with such vehemence?  It is very hard to hear the message of loving others when we are mobilized in taking away something of great importance to them. That was what I was ineptly trying to convey with my post.

I apologize to anyone else who may feel that I was singling them out.  That was not my intention, nor did I realize I had even done so until it was brought to my attention. I will guard myself more carefully so that such things do not happen again, as no one is benefitted by the anger, rancor, and pain that it causes.

And I swear, the next post is going to be funny. . .



  1. Well I, for one, was not offended in the least. You provided an opportunity for people to express their opinions on an important issue. I hope my remarks weren’t taken personally either; I really meant to address the issue in general, and not seem like I was responding negatively to anything you had written. I think I can speak for all of us, your friends, when I say that we love you, and you’re awesome!

  2. Agreed.

  3. The ironic thing about it is that I was very careful about what comments I allowed or allowed unedited in order to prevent anyone wallking away upset or frustrated.

    It was entirely my original words that did the damage.

    It’s a good reminder to be more careful.

  4. It’s one of those issues that you can hardly comment about without risking offending someone. Thank goodness this election is over with! Now maybe normal life can resume. 🙂

  5. Just for the record, a friend of mine (a member) dealt with same sex attraction for quite some time. Any negative emotions she felt or internalized, she admitted were self-imposed. She received great love from her ward family and from Saints in general. She was known (and loved) for her wit and intellect. She was allowed the privilege (which some question) of lying in a hospital bed sometime before her premature death. During this time, she confronted the twists and turns of her mortal journey with a dead-on truthfulness and self-appraising honesty. The Saints remained who they’ve always been: loving, accepting and kind. The rare few who did not respond this way were, indeed, the “odd ones out” and were shown what the pure love of Christ looks like by application and example. I’m so over this debate. Live what we know to be true-Love Christ and serve Him by loving our neighbors. It’s time to heal. Now…be funny! Don’t make me come over there….. 😉

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