Posted by: randommisfires | September 5, 2008

In the Cafeteria

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my home away from home is the cafeteria at R’s college. If I get there right before her class starts, there is an outlet available for the laptop and I can sit with a soda or bottle of water and work for 3 hours straight. The cafeteria is noisy and if I have to pack up my laptop to run to the bathroom, it’s a real issue because I lose my seat. And my table. And most importantly, I lose my outlet. Which, on days that I have major things to get done for work, can be a problem.

Today, I happened to have a major proposal with a massive company due no later than 11am. And because of my awesome organizational and time management skills, I was still working on it at 10:30. The word “frantically” comes to mind.

So, when a skinny pimple faced kid asked if he could share the table and plug his laptop in at the open outlet, I thought nothing of it. I certainly wasn’t planning on making a new friend. Of course, the best laid plans of mice and desperate sales people and all of that. . .

Naturally, the kid starts talking. To me. Note to self: on Tuesday, bring headphones. They don’t have to attach to anything, as long as the frat boys think I can’t hear them.

After some pleasantries, I returned to my frantic typing, scribbling, editing and transcribing. Which in no way stopped him from telling me how superior his Mac was to my Dell. No argument from me. Because I didn’t want to have a conversation. Because I was under pressure.  Then, the guy starts talking about how with his superior Linux based system, he can gain access to my windows registry and do serious harm to my computer.

And then his friend joined us and the talking reached manic levels.

Me: “Hey guys.  You forgot to warn me that you were going to talk non-stop, and loudly, when you asked if you could sit here.  Trust me, if I had know that fact, I’d have told you no.”

Blessed silence from both of them.

10 seconds later:

Frat boy 1: Boom wiggy wiggy cha.  Boom wiggy wiggy cha.  Boom wiggy wiggy boom wiggy cha chow. Boom wiggy wiggy cha. . .

Me: Dude, is that your Tourettes getting the better of you, or what?

Him: Oh.  Sorry.  So, do you want me to show you how I can access your windows registry with my computer?  Because you know, there’s nothing wrong with windows except that it sucks.

Me:  I’ll pass.  I would like to finish this massive project for work though.  Kind of urgent. Aren’t you about to be late for class?  Or maybe I can hear your mother calling you?

Just then, R walks up.  And wouldn’t you know, the guy starts whistling “That’s Amore”  as he packs up to wander off to pester someone else.

His parting shot? “Hey!  Save me the plug next week too, K?  I’ll see you then!”

I believe it’s time to locate the campus library.



  1. I had the same experience late last week when my stunt partner and I were checking out a location for filming our short movie – some guy standing on the other side of the store front was like “does that bike jacket really work?” or something stupid like that. I humored him for a minute but then before I could break off the conversation, he moved over to our side claiming the “garbage can smelled” and that it wasn’t him, it was really the garbage. But not him. He then proceeds to jabber my ear off and since I’m too nice to just say “look dude, we have to shoot some test shots” I manage to get my friend’s attention, have him call me and pretend that I need to wrap up and head out in 5 minutes. The guy still doesn’t shut up tho and I finally end up having to wave him off and pretend he’s no longer there.

    I really just wanted to punch him really, really hard in the face.

  2. Sounds Like you both made some friends…

  3. Maybe he skipped his class on people-skills and came straight to the cafeteria. What is it with Mac people? Are we that weird? Do we not understand personal boundaries-do we have to choose between none or too much? Or maybe our problem is generalizations?….or irony?….or sarcasm?….

    Better luck next time kiddo….and bring some headphones and a mean facial expression.

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